Based on the message “Healing the Heart of Your Marriage“ by Jimmy & Irene Rollins
When relationships fracture—whether through betrayal, addiction, dysfunction, or distance—the pain often settles not just in our minds, but deep in our hearts. Jimmy and Irene Rollins, in a message that blends faith, vulnerability, and emotional intelligence, offer a roadmap to healing: the P.E.A.C.E. framework. These five principles are not just spiritual advice—they’re practical tools for repairing relationships and restoring your inner life.
1. P – Pray for the People Who Hurt You
📖 “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” – Matthew 5:44 (NIV)
Prayer is the first—and often hardest—step. When someone has hurt us, our natural response is to protect, avoid, or retaliate. But Jesus calls us to something higher: praying for our enemies.
This may sound impossible. Why would we pray for the very people who caused us pain? But as Jimmy points out, “prayer is the path to perspective.” Praying for others softens our own hearts. It shifts us from revenge to release.
“We want people around us to be mad at who we’re mad at,” he says. “But that’s not healing. That’s division.”
Jimmy shares that his breakthrough didn’t come through confrontation—but through prayer. It wasn’t easy. At first, he was resistant. But once he got alone with God, poured out his pain, and prayed sincerely, his heart began to soften.ir own trauma.
2. E – Examine Your Heart
📖 “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” – Psalm 139:23 (NIV)
Before we can heal, we have to be honest with ourselves. That means going beyond surface emotions and asking, “Where is this really coming from?”
Irene shared a powerful question her counselor once asked: “How old do you feel right now?” That one question led to a deep realization—many of our reactions in adult relationships are actually responses to unhealed childhood wounds.
Examination reveals the root. Whether it’s fear, rejection, abandonment, or disappointment—God doesn’t just want to fix our behavior. He wants to heal our hearts.
Healing starts by looking inward. Irene reminds us that emotional triggers often point to unresolved wounds. A question she poses is, “How old do you feel right now?”
When Jimmy was challenged by his therapist to answer that, he realized the root of his anger dated back to being 9 years old—the age he was first exposed to trauma. That moment of self-examination brought clarity and began a deeper healing process.
Naming the source helps us take responsibility without shame.
3. A – Accept That Fractures Can Lead to Healing
📖 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28 (NIV)
We often want to skip over pain and go straight to peace. But Jimmy and Irene remind us: fracture isn’t failure—it’s an opportunity. God can use brokenness as the foundation for breakthrough.
Even the story of Jesus involves betrayal, denial, and deep pain. But what looked like the end became the beginning of new life. In the same way, our relational wounds can become sacred spaces for God’s redemption.
Acceptance doesn’t mean we’re okay with what happened—it means we’re ready to let God use it for something greater.ction from death, He can bring restoration from relationship fractures. Accepting this truth helps us stop resisting pain—and start seeing it as a doorway to purpose.
4. C – Commit to the Process of Reconciliation
📖 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18 (NIV)
Forgiveness is a decision. Reconciliation is a process. And both require commitment.
Jimmy shared a moment when he told Irene, “If you drink again, I’ll still love you.” That wasn’t giving up—it was grace. He realized he couldn’t control her healing. He could only commit to walking with her through it.
Reconciliation requires humility, boundaries, and consistency. But above all, it demands that we show others the same grace God has shown us.
5. E – Exchange Your Pain for God’s Presence (Grace)
📖 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28 (NIV)
The final key is the most beautiful: the great exchange. We bring God our pain, and He gives us His peace. We give Him our guilt, and He gives us grace.
For Irene, the hardest part of healing was forgiving herself. As a leader and a mom, she could extend grace to others—but struggled to believe she deserved it too. But grace isn’t something we earn. It’s something we receive.
“I had to forgive myself,” Irene shares. “Only then could I pass that grace to others.”
And when we do, the healing doesn’t stop with us—it flows into our marriages, our children, and our communities.
Closing Thoughts: P.E.A.C.E. as a Practice
The P.E.A.C.E. framework—Pray, Examine, Accept, Commit, Exchange—is more than a checklist. It’s a pathway to wholeness. Each step requires courage, honesty, and surrender. But with God, healing is always possible.
The Rollins don’t present these five keys as a one-time fix. They’re ongoing disciplines—daily choices we make to pursue healing and connection. Healing is layered. It’s not linear or easy, but it’s possible, and deeply worth it.
This message struck a powerful chord with both my wife and me. We experienced it together as part of a marriage conference at our church, and it sparked honest conversations we didn’t even know we needed. The vulnerability, truth, and grace in Jimmy and Irene’s story reminded us that no marriage is perfect—but every marriage can be redeemed when both people are willing to do the work.
So wherever you are in your journey—whether you’re holding pain, facing conflict, or searching for restoration—take the first step. Let God start the healing in your heart.
You can learn more about Jimmy and Irene Rollins at Two Equals One, and you can watch the full message here.
